Building Trust Between Kids and Dogs Through Positive Training

Oct 4
7 min read

As a trainer, I meet families all the time who tell me, “My dog is wonderful with the kids—until the moment he’s not.” That’s usually followed by a story about barking, jumping, nipping, or a scary near-miss when a child leaned in for a hug or tried to take a toy.

Here’s the truth: dogs and children can absolutely learn to live calmly and politely together, but it doesn’t happen automatically. It takes structure, supervision, and training that builds trust on both sides.

And because kids are at higher risk for dog bites than adults—about 4.5 million people are bitten by dogs every year in the U.S., and kids take the brunt of it—we can’t just hope for the best . We need a plan.

Why Trust Comes First

Think about how kids and dogs view the world: both are curious, both are impulsive, and both can get overwhelmed quickly. That mix can be wonderful when guided—or stressful and even dangerous if left unchecked.

Most dog bites involving children don’t happen with strange dogs. They happen at home, with the family dog or a dog the child already knows . That tells us two things:

This isn’t about “dangerous breeds” or scary strays—it’s about everyday family routines.
The solution isn’t intimidation or “showing the dog who’s boss.” It’s about building predictability and trust.

Why I Only Use Positive Training

Let’s clear something up: there’s no shortcut correction that makes a dog “respect” children. The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior (AVSAB) has been crystal clear that reward-based training is the method that actually works and keeps dogs safe.

Why? Because corrections, intimidation, or pain don’t teach calm behavior—they teach fear. And fear is exactly what we don’t want when kids are involved. Studies show that aversive techniques like leash jerks, yelling, or shock collars lead to more stress, more problem behaviors, and weaker learning outcomes .

On the other hand, reinforcing calm choices—a dog settling on a mat, turning away from a child’s snack, or choosing to walk away—creates habits we can rely on. And it preserves the bond kids and dogs are building.

What Supervision Really Means

I know you’ve heard, “Never leave a dog and child alone together.” But let’s break that down.

Supervision means you are awake, alert, and close enough to intervene right away. It doesn’t mean you’re on the couch scrolling your phone while your toddler crawls on the dog. It doesn’t mean you can leave a 8-year-old in charge of the puppy.

Practical tips I give families:

Use barriers. Baby gates, crates (trained positively), or playpens let the dog rest without being pestered.
Set “no-go zones.” Dogs should never be disturbed when eating, chewing, or sleeping .
Teach your kids scripts. “Stand like a tree” (still, quiet, hands down), if the dog jumps, and “curl up like a rock,” if they get knocked down .

Here’s the key: most injuries happen during normal, everyday moments—sitting on the couch, running through the hallway, sharing food . That’s why supervision and structure matter every single day.

Helping Kids Understand Dogs

One of the most important things we can do is teach kids what a dog is saying with their body.

When a dog licks their lips, yawns when they’re not tired, turns their head, or stiffens—those are signs of stress. If we teach kids that those signals mean “give me space,” we stop problems before they happen .

In my training programs, I make this into a game for kids: “Spot the happy dog vs. spot the worried dog.” Kids love it, and it sticks.

Family Rules That Work

Here are the house rules I encourage families to post on the fridge:

No wake-ups, no take-aways. Don’t wake a sleeping dog, and don’t take food or toys from a dog.
Ask–Invite–Pet–Pause. Kids ask an adult first, then invite the dog to come over. Pet under the chin for a second, pause, and see if the dog leans back in for more. If not—hands off.
Hands are for drops, not grabs. Treats get dropped on the floor for safety, not grabbed from tiny fingers.
Calm greetings only. Before guests or kids come home, the dog is on their mat with a chew or a scatter of treats.
Daily rest times. Every dog needs breaks from kid energy—build them in.

These aren’t just “nice ideas.” They’re based on pediatric guidance and veterinary behavior research .

Core Training Skills for Families

1. Mat Work (Go to Place)

This is my number-one family skill. A mat becomes the dog’s safe zone. Start by tossing treats onto it, then reward lying down calmly. Eventually, your dog will choose the mat when they’re not sure what to do—which is perfect when kids are busy.

2. Pattern Games

Dogs love predictability. Teach a simple “with me” walk indoors, marking eye contact every few steps. Add a cheerful U-turn before your dog gets too focused on the kids’ running. It’s a reset button that keeps things calm.

3. “Find It” Scatter

When things get noisy, say “Find it!” and toss a handful of treats on the floor. Sniffing lowers arousal and gives your dog a quick job that doesn’t involve chasing children.

4. Consent-Based Petting

Teach kids “1-2-3 Pet.” Pet for one second, stop, and see if the dog leans back in. If yes, go again. If no, respect it.

5. Leave It and Drop

These cues prevent conflict over snacks, toys, or clothes. Start with easy items, trade for something better, and sometimes give the item back so the dog learns dropping things isn’t always a loss.

Management: Setting the Stage

Training doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Management keeps everyone safe while training takes hold.

Use baby gates to separate spaces.
Keep dog food and chews out of kid areas.
Give the dog snuffle mats or puzzle feeders during noisy kid times.
Protect the dog’s sleep. Many bites happen when a resting dog is startled .

Teaching Kids With Easy Scripts

Kids remember rhymes and short rules, not lectures. Here are my go-tos:

Ask–Invite–Pet–Pause
Stand like a tree if unsure
No wake-ups, no take-aways
Slow and low (gentle petting under chin, no hugs or face-to-face contact)

These aren’t just safety nets—they also build empathy. Kids learn that dogs have feelings and deserve respect.

Laying the Groundwork at Home

Every family’s needs are different, but what I’ve seen time and again is that progress comes from starting simple and building gradually. In our programs, we typically move through three big phases:

Phase 1: Foundations – Focus on calm skills without kids in the picture yet (things like relaxation on a mat and simple attention games).
Phase 2: Add Gentle Distractions – Introduce children at a distance so your dog learns to stay settled while family life moves around them.
Phase 3: Supervised Practice – With an adult guiding both sides, kids and dogs practice short, positive interactions in safe setups.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about creating predictable habits and calm routines that help your dog feel safe and your children feel confident.

Common Situations and What to Do

Toddler with food → Always separate with a gate. Don’t rely on “leave it” in real time.
After-school chaos → Preload the dog with a mat routine before the kids come bursting in.
Child wants to hug → Redirect to rolling a ball or tossing a treat instead.
Dog guards toys → Manage access, practice Drop with trades. If guarding escalates, call a professional .
Dog chases kids → Use pattern walking and Find-It, not corrections. Punishment won’t remove the urge; structure and reinforcement will.

When It’s Time for Professional Help

Sometimes, even with the best structure and training at home, a dog will show us they need more guidance. If you notice stiff body language, growling, guarding, or any type of bite (even what seems like a “warning nip”), that’s a clear signal to pause and get support.

This is exactly where we step in at Animal House Academy. Our trainers specialize in reward-based, family-centered training programs that respect your dog’s emotional needs while keeping your children safe. We don’t use intimidation or harsh methods—ever. Instead, we help you create calm routines, rebuild trust, and teach your dog how to succeed in your busy household.

If your family is seeing behavior that worries you, please don’t wait until things escalate. Reach out to us. We’ll guide you with a personalized plan and walk beside you every step of the way.

Bringing It All Together

Here’s the big picture:

Understanding → Learn body language, and rules of safe interaction.
Connection → Build positive, short, successful moments between kids and dogs.
Confidence → Give dogs clear, reinforced skills and give kids simple scripts.

Do this consistently, and you’ll see calmer, more polite behavior—and most importantly, trust.

Want More Hands-On Help?

We’re diving even deeper into this in our free upcoming workshop:“Building Trust Between Kids and Dogs Through Positive Training.”

This workshop is completely complimentary for families who want to build calm, safe, and positive relationships between their children and dogs. We’ll walk you step by step through routines, games, and real-life practice that you can start using right away.

If you’re ready for a calmer, safer, and happier connection between your kids and your dog, I’d love to see you there. Join us for free — click here to sign up and start building trust at home.

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